Monday, August 11, 2008

Pre-op questions

I was reading a book by Dave Harvey called When Sinners Say, "I Do." The book (which is extremely beneficial, by the way) encourages spouses to encourage each other and help each other grow by lovingly confronting areas of sin that we may detect.

He refers to this with an extended metaphor of surgery, and in doing so asks some great pre-op questions for those doing the 'surgery' of correction:
  1. Have I prayed for God's wisdom and acknowledged my need for his help in serving my spouse?
  2. Are my observations based upon patterns of behavior or merely a single incident?
  3. Am I content to address one area of concern, even if I am aware of several?
  4. Am I committed to making incisions no larger than necessary?
  5. Am I prepared to humbly offer an observation rather than an assumption or conclusion?
  6. Is my goal to promote God's truth or my preference?
Although Harvey uses these question in the context of correction in marriage, I think they are too good not to consider for every day correction in other relationships.